Learn English with King of Queens

Carrie’s Embarrassing Wedding Speech

This week’s English lesson is taken from the TV series King of Queens. It shows Carrie Heffernan giving a hilarious and somewhat embarrassing wedding speech.

For optimal learning results, I recommend following the five steps in exactly this order:

  1. Watch the complete scene with Subtitles
  2. Read the full Transcript
  3. Learn the Vocabulary and Phrases
  4. Test yourself by watching the whole scene again (this time without subtitles)
  5. Test yourself with some quiz questions

Step 1: Watch with Subtitles

Step 2: Read the Transcript

Carrie: Hi, what can I say about Todd? I’m just remembering now, Todd and I ran into each other a few years ago at a party. And I was there on my second date with this guy named Doug, who’s now my husband.

Thank you. Anyway, I introduced Todd as my really good friend, which was mostly true, except for one thing that I left out. Which was that Todd and I had actually been sexually intimate. Doug.

Doug, would you listen to me?

Maybe I should’ve told you the truth that night but I didn’t because I really liked you, and I wanted things to work out between us. I mean, if I would’ve said: “Hey, PS, you see that guy over there? I did him.” Would you have asked me out again?

Doug: I don’t know, maybe.

Carrie: Yeah, maybe. And maybe not. And then, we wouldn’t have gone to Coney Island and you wouldn’t have kissed me on the bumper cars, and I would’ve missed out on the…

… the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Doug: You’re referring to me?

Carrie: Yes, I’m referring to you. I love you.

Doug: I love you too. Maybe I overreacted. It’s just that… I don’t know, even imagining you with another guy just gets me insane.

Carrie: Believe me, my thing with Todd was nothing to get insane about.

Doug: Really?

Carrie: Really. It was nothing. And I mean nothing. Nada. Zip. Over in a minute.

Doug: Yeah, in a minute? Really?

Carrie: Yeah, if that. And then he kept apologizing and he burst into tears. Then he said something about having a fear of intimacy because his mother didn’t hold him as a child. It’s like, too much information, buddy.

Doug: Oh, my God. Hey, is that microphone still on?

Carrie: Hope you guys enjoyed our little skit. It was just our little way of wishing Todd and Paula good luck.

Doug: Good luck, kids.

Carrie: Play something.

Step 3: Learn the Vocabulary

to run into someone = to meet someone you know when you are not expecting to

Example: Guess who I ran into today!

to be sexually intimate = to have sex with someone

Please note: Carrie could have left out the word “sexually” and it would still mean the same.

Example: He denies that he was ever intimate with her. (= He denies that he ever had sex with her.)

to work out = If a situation or relationship works out or works out well, it happens or progresses in a satisfactory way.

Example: Things just didn’t work out as planned.

PS = short for postscript; used when you want to add extra information at the end of a letter or email

Example: PS, don’t forget to bring your raincoat!

to do someone (slang) = to have sex with someone

bumper car = a small electric car driven for entertainment in a special closed space at a fair, etc., where the aim is to try to hit other cars

Example: It’s as simple to drive as a bumper car at the fairground.

to miss out on something = If you miss out on something that would be enjoyable or useful to you, you are not involved in it or do not take part in it.

Example: We’re missing out on a tremendous opportunity.

to refer to someone = to talk about someone; If information refers to someone, it relates to that person.

Example: The new salary scale only refers to company managers and directors.

to get insane = something annoys and irritates you a lot

Please note: Instead of saying that something gets you insane, you could also say that something drives you crazy.

Example: We love our two-year-old, but sometimes she drives us crazy.

nada (informal; mainly US) = nothing

zip (informal; mainly US) = nothing

Example: I know zip about computers.

if that = or even less

Example: There is not much to discuss, so today’s meeting should be over in half an hour, if that.

to burst into tears = to suddenly start to cry

Example: I was so upset, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears.

buddy = a friend; sometimes used when talking to a man, often when you are annoyed

Example: Drink up and go home, buddy.

to be on = to be engaged or functioning

Example: Is the car engine still on?

skit = a short, funny play that makes a joke of something

Example: I thought the skit on politicians was really funny.

Step 4: Watch without Subtitles

Step 5: Take the Test

Carrie’s Embarrassing Wedding Speech

1 / 4

This scene was so funny because the microphone was ..... the whole time.

2 / 4

When you meet someone you know when you are not expecting to, you run ..... someone.

3 / 4

Do you know a synonym (= another word) for nothing? (more than one answer possible)

4 / 4

A short, funny play that makes a joke of something is also called a ......

Your score is


Scene taken from Season 1, Episode 13 of King of Queens: Best Man | Definitions and example sentences are primarily taken from the Cambridge, Collins, Wiktionary, and Oxford Dictionary.

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By Martin

Martin is the main contributor to this website. He loves to watch funny English sitcoms and inspirational videos and to read English books of different genres. Now, he wants to share his experience with you by posting funny and meaningful English lessons based on the sitcoms, videos, and books he loves so much.

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